|WHAT IF N AVENGERS 2 STEVE JUST PICKS UP MJOLNIR (MYUMYU) AND HANDS IT TO THOR LIKE "NBD HERE BRO." I NEED THIS TO HAPPEN.|
oh. my. god. I NEED THIS SO MUCH.
so, avengers & co. are milling about post-skirmish, and everybody’s just gathering their shit together and regrouping
steve casually picks up mjolnir and helpfully hands it over to thor, and spends the next thirty minutes dealing with the complete emotional wreckage caused by this totally innocuous gesture
- thor & loki: freaking out quietly but powerfully, with the kind of wide-eyed disbelief and unnatural stillness that promises a lot of yelling & booming thunder & green-tinged lightning as soon as they recover their wits
- tony: prolonged hysterics over comms, just totally infuriated incomprehensible ranting. mjolnir has infuriated tony for ages - it’s a fucking fancy hunk of space rock, how does it fucking know who is worthy! how does it even determine what ‘worthiness’ constitutes! it’s an affront to science and dignity and american manhood, is what it is. and now steve rogers, who gets up tony’s nose more than anybody else he has ever met, just…picks up thor’s judgy magic god hammer like it’s nothing? tony is done. tony has no words. (that’s a lie: tony has ALL THE WORDS, and LOUDLY.)
- clint: cracking up in the background and egging on tony’s hysterics; this is the most fun he’s had all month
- lady sif: her disbelief unnerves steve even more than thor & loki; he’s come to expect a certain level of weirdness and emotional melodrama from those two, but not sif. steve likes sif. she’s a badass warrior goddess, she’s great in a fight and she’s very nice. one time they were training together and she even let him hold her glaive! they’re totally bros. warrior bros. but now she’s just staring and it’s freaking him out.
- natasha: suspected all along that steve could, but to have it confirmed…she quietly loses it, tucks herself in against steve’s side and giggles helplessly into his shoulder; she’s not surprised, it’s just…a small part of her is still waiting for steve to undercut her faith in him. but steve, annoying golden bastard that he is, keeps proving her right about him, and she doesn’t know what to do with that. (steve just looks down at her helplessly; he always likes hearing her laugh but this loss of composure unnerves him more than anything else.)
- sam & bruce: mystified. utterly mystified. hulk just blinks and sam dryly congratulates steve on his amazing hammer-lifting prowess.
- jane: rushes at steve, almost tripping over herself in her excitement and getting all up in steve’s personal space as she pokes mjolnir and pokes steve, who actually leans back in a futile effort to escape the torrent of incomprehensible science babble
- darcy: the only person in steve’s vicinity who (a) seems to understand the fuss and (b) doesn’t seem unduly put out by it. steve finds this tentatively reassuring right up until she grins widely, makes at least five filthy jokes about his inner purity, and asks for a fistbump.
sif is the first one to finally pull herself together and explain the whole ‘worthy of mjolnir’ thing; steve doesn’t even know where to look or what to do, he just goes bright red and stammers, while natasha giggles even harder and tony’s voice climbs up another octave
sam, perched on hulk’s shoulder and listening with increasing amusement, starts cracking up and actually tumbles right off while steve stares at him with betrayal writ large across his face, ET TU, SAM?, and sam is now laughing so hard he’s actually gasping for breath(bucky hears about it last, after the initial furor dies down, and he just grins at steve, bright and knowing and unsurprised. steve hasn’t seen that smile in years; the whole day’s embarrassment, including tony’s continued muttered ranting, is worth it for that alone)
well, he’s picked it up in canon before, so I’d say, at some point, it’ll happen in the films. (Hulk’s also picked it up, so, uh, can we have that? Can we have Bruce being utterly stunned outright that Mjolnir thinks he’s worthy?)
I NEED THIS TOO.
And the rest of the team, afterward, finding excuses to nonchalantly attempt to pick up Mjolnir - where/when no one else will see, of course. Maybe with bonus Faiza Hussain over for a visit, or something.
I haven’t even seen The Winter Soldier yet, so I only half-get those references,but OH MY GOD they totally need to make this happen.
Also Hulk. God yes.
Boo! Thumbs down. We all know nothing would ever reduce Black Widow to “giggling helplessly.”
We do? Man, your version of Natasha is really fucking boring, then.
The Natasha I know makes “WarGames” jokes and blows bubblegum and charms her way into the Iron Man armor and protects her best friend even while she’s fighting him for her life and cries when loved ones die and teases Captain America about his sex life and wears her heart not on her sleeve but in her clenched fist. The Natasha I know wouldn’t giggle helplessly in front of people she didn’t trust, didn’t love — but the Natasha I know would absolutely do it in front of her team, because she would do it with her team, laughing at them and herself and at the whole world. The Natasha I know once looked Steve Rogers in the eye and asked her if he trusted her as much as she trusts him, with her life, and he said “I do now,” and she knew that he was a terrible liar, but until that moment when he picked up the hammer maybe she still worried that she’d wanted to hear the words so badly that she’d fooled herself into being tricked. The Natasha I know would watch Steve pick up that hammer and feel as though that hammer had been pressed against her sternum for years, decades, since her earliest memories of the Red Room; she would watch him and realize that she’s traded in the KGB for SHIELD for Hydra for this, someone who will stand like a tree beside the river of truth and tell the whole world, “No - you move.”
We all know very few things would make Black Widow giggle helplessly, for the sheer joy and absurdity of the way life has worked out. But if you boo this story just because you don’t think this moment would be one of them — because the Natasha you know is something that has to be reduced in order to laugh — then I don’t ever want to meet the Natasha you know.